birth control

I have an appointment today that I invited Scott to come to. We will be discussing birth control with the doctor.

I have not had to think about birth control for 3 years. First came Lucy, then I had a cycle, and Asher was conceived (someday those words will make their stomachs churn as they think of their parents having s*ex. Sorry, kids.)

We are at a crossroads now. (boy, am I dramatic) I would like something reliable. Something I don't have to think of taking every day. I don't know how I feel about birth control for a variety of reasons. FIrst, the Catholics among us will tell you that they cause abortions. If I believe that life begins at conception, as I do, then I must either take that to its logical end and swear off birth control or tell you that I don't believe it. There are some who are even against con*doms, because they say that is taking the beauty out of the marital act and squelching the possibility of life. I'm not sure that I agree with that, because as far as God is concerned, where there's a will there's a way. If he wants me to have another baby, I will have another baby. If he doesn't, I won't.

I have strongly considered the Mirena IUD - that is the direction I'm leaning. It prevents you from ovulating by sending small amounts of hormone to your uterus. I wouldn't have Scott asking me if I've taken a pill, and your fertility returns almost immediately when you have it removed. You can have it in for up to 5 years.

I don't know that I could do another pregnancy right now. Actually, I know that Scott knows he can't. But then maybe that's us not trusting God. But then I felt like it was a huge leap of faith to have Asher after all of the problems we had having Lucy. It is all so confusing.

So, what birth control do you use? Or do you? Post anonymously if you'd like.

Comments

[Marcia]

...menopause???.....Sorry, I just couldn't resist! :):)
That's just what happens when you have the rare old lady reading your blog!
Seriously, though, I will be praying for wisdom and insight for you and Scott as you contemplate this decision.

[mopsy]

We use nothing but my ugly pajamas and leg stubble. Surprise, surprise!

Even with nothing, there is no guarantee a successful pregnancy would occur. Joel and Beatrix are three years apart. No birth control, two pregnancies, two miscarriages in three years. I was clinically infertile! A mom of six! Weird.

So, it would be goofy for me to use birth control because I do believe life begins at conception, plus artificial hormones make me nuts. Crying, fat, zitty, bitchy. Who'd want to have sex with a person like that? I find it ironic. Women go on hormonal birth control, but it makes many of them very unattractive. Including me.

[Anonymouse]

I've done ortho-tricyclen lo successfully and conceived as soon as I quit. I never minded taking a pill every day and liked the idea of still having my period. I'm not sure why - I guess it just felt more normal to me. Currently we're doing con*doms. Kind of a pain in some ways, but kind of nice in others. I'll spare the details.

[RQ]

Well, I thought I'd comment since I have no reason to use birth control. You know so that makes me an expert.
Actually, I went on a couple different things because of cramps, because when you have really bad cramps, all doctors tell you is to go on birth control, or have a kid. Oh ok I'll just get right on that.
I did the patch, it messed me up big time. Weight gain and feeling like I was in a constant state of pms. Mircette (a pill) did about the same thing. I as well can't remember to take a darn pill. I've heard good things about IUDs, though.
Back and forth, back and forth. Basically I have the choice between delirious amounts of pain each month, or being on the pill, and being constantly hormonal.
I love modern medicine.

[Corie]

I use the IUD Mirena and LOVE it! I recommend it! Good Choice!

[Anonymous]

Mostly abstinence (single girl here). Sometimes we simply cannot abstain, and then we use a combination of infrequent sex, strict periodic abstinence: sympto-thermal method (I chart even when abstaining, because it allows me to predict exactly in which day my period will come), and sometimes withdrawal in days which are probably infertile, but pre-ovulation. I cannot take hormonal BC (for health reasons, plus I believe life begins at conception and would be horrified to wonder if I had interfered with the implantation of an embryo) and I seem to remember the IUD also interferes with implantation. We don't like condoms and don't use them (monogamous relationship, and we both tested negative for STDs), but to me condoms are much more acceptable than hormonal bc or the IUD.

A friend of mine who is a pharmacist was on the pill (she tried several kinds) and finally gave up and decided to use barrier methods + FAM because the pill made her feel lousy. She would gain weight, become moody and depressed, lose her libido and have blood circulation troubles (varicose veins and she was in her 20s!).

[AnyKo]

Funny, I was just considering birth control as well... going OFF it, actually. Being a single and chaste woman, is there really a need? Hormonal drugs stink, but I took the pill out of necessity. Now that I completely abstain, why should I continue to pump myself with the drugs?

Anywho, you already know I take Yaz. And I know that makes you laugh - it really is a silly name. As far as low-does pills go, it's been a good one.

I was my happiest (when married) when I "controlled conception" through charting my fertility. It really helped me understand my body better, too. And, when we were ready to have another - we did! Very easily, since I knew exactly when I could conceive.

Pray about your decision, as you pray about everything, and God will lead you. Then you can have peace over the choice you make.

[Jess]

Rach, I loved the Mirena. And I O'd 8 days after having it removed and got pregnant on my first real cycle off. They aren't kidding when they say your fertility returns quickly!

Also, I finally emailed you... so look for it!

[Renee]

I used to use a low dose birth control but even that was too much for my body to handle and I got SUPER DUPER grumpy. I could feel the need to hurt the ones I loved. :o) After I got off, we used some more "natural" methods. But my husband had a vasectomy last month. We had a loooooong discussion with the doc about that because he's (the doc) against rushing into vasectomies, but like you said Rach - if God wants us to get pregnant, then He will make sure we do. As for now... we don't plan on it!

[Alisa]

we do natural family planning along with condoms every now and then. i read the book "taking control of your fertility." great resource. i asked the doctor point-blank, "does the pill pass a fertilized egg?" she couldn't give me a sure answer. everything else seemed too crazy to me - my hormones are wacky enough! we've enjoyed doing it this way and feel completely sure of what we're doing now. chris doesn't mind using condoms every now and then...otherwise we may have been forced into looking for something else, but this is what works for us! soooooo glad you're talking about it instead of just doing whatever the doc's say!!! that's wisdom, sister.

[Jeff Culbreath]

Hello Rach. Have you considered the possibility of abstaining when you are fertile?

[Jeff Culbreath]

Hello Rach. Have you considered the possibility of abstaining when you are fertile?

[Jeff Culbreath]

Sorry about the double post. And I hope that didn't sound flippant. Even though you aren't Catholic, I believe you will find this solution to have the least moral difficulties. Scott sounds like a good and kind husband who could handle the little bit of self-denial required ... and for your sake, would do it happily.

[Jeff Culbreath]

Sorry about the double post. And I hope that didn't sound flippant. Even though you aren't Catholic, I believe you will find this solution to have the least moral difficulties. Scott sounds like a good and kind husband who could handle the little bit of self-denial required ... and for your sake, would do it happily.

[Karin]

Have to agree with all of Jef's posts.
IUD's also have been known to cause abortions, just like the pill.

[brittany (aka buddy)]

i agree with the IUD idea, even when taken consistently, the pill is not nearly as reliable as the drug companies would like you to believe (case and point the little man growing in my belly, and kicking me at this very moment). i would most def go with something other than the pill and its affiliates (the depo shot, etc), based on the fact that i am not alone in having conceived while on it, or something similar to it.

[Karin]

I have to agree with all of Jeff's posts.
May I also suggest that you research IUD's as they also have been known to cause abortions like the pill.

[Karin]

Sorry for the double post...I thought my first one did not go through :(

[Hannah]

Rach, I would be scared of the IUD, only because I had terrible luck with the pill and at least I could stop... doesn't the IUD have to run it's course if you get it? I've heard some bad stories about it, but others like it.
Who knows????
I don't know that I will go on birth control again as I think it contributes to infertility, but that is a personal theory:) All is well here, hope you're great, we can chat anytime in the late afternoon... after 4

[Jenny]

I'm de-lurking to tell you I have had the Mirena IUD for over a year now and love it. No PMS or heavy painful periods. Good luck with your choice!!

[Sharon]

This is funny as I just went and had the discussion with the OB...I told him to call my husband as he thinks he is in control:-) Boy would I love God to show him who is in control. I refuse to take anything or do anything, he tried to convince me about the Mirena and swore it did not cause abortions like the olden days did, he said the progesterone on the string slowly releases and causes a mucus plug that actually blocks any spermy from getting in:-) I still couldn't do it, my Mom got preg on an IUD before me and had a terrible miscarriage at 3-4 months, almost died...my feeling is this, my husband says he is done, i say I could have another if that is what God wants. I honestly don't know if I could handle another after the 2 mis and Dominic so i put it totally in God's hands. If DH is truly done, then he needs to go get things taken care of...my OB was great he said if one isn't sure you should do nothing...now I might be a little more paniced in about two years as I get later into the 30's:-) Hugs, its a tough one.

[Arwen]

I think you might want to do some more research into the IUD. Lots of people will tell you it couldn't possibly cause early abortions, but lots of people will tell you that about the Pill too. As far as I understand it, no hormonal treatment - whether administered by pill or through a device in your uterus - is 100% effective at preventing ovulation. That means that if you did ovulate, the IUD would then prevent implantation, causing an abortion.

While you're researching and deciding, might I suggest NFP? Pretty darn easy to learn and use, and really works. Plus it doesn't have the attendant moral dilemmas. If you want to know more, email me (or Jen, who knows more than I do about it).

[Joy]

I was on a little pill for about 3ish years after we were married. I really liked it. I also have considered other forms of BC. Just ask your doc lots of questions and do a little scientific research (that means facts and looking at research instead of asking me for my openion, although I like the fact that you value our feedback). I think birth control is one of the best things ever invented, because without it I would probably have about 7 kids right now, and that's a bit too much for me. About the abstaining during the fertile parts posts, that must have been said by a single woman or an unmarried man. :-) Or maybe someone who doesn't realize that I have a HOT husband who thinks I am very se*xy...well, that's about too much info for now.

[Jeff Culbreath]

"About the abstaining during the fertile parts posts, that must have been said by a single woman or an unmarried man. :-)"

The man who said this is very much married. For 16 years. Trust me, no matter how "sexy" you are, a loving husband can handle it. If he's a serious Christian of any kind, a little self-denial in the service of love will be good for him.

[Rachee]

The problem I have with the Natural Family Planning is that we would not be able to have relations for 1/3 of the month?! Is that correct?